A Part of Me

Goodbye to You My Trusted Friend...

2008-02-01T09:04:00.000-06:00

I’ve been sitting here trying to put into words all the last twenty years have been.
Something to take with you, to look back on and remember when.

It’s like there are too many moments, no possible way to capture them all.
Will it be enough to fill the years as seasons change from winter, spring, summer and fall.

We met in high school while working at Jacks.
Two girls seemingly from different sides of the tracks.

You were confident, knew what you liked and were always ready for a ride.
I was quiet, eager to fit, more likely to run and hide.

You broke me out of my shell, challenged me to broaden my horizons.
Still, I may never be able to tell the difference between AC/DC and the Scorpions.

I broke you away from your high school sweetheart.
You encouraged me to leave home, that my mom’s world would not fall apart.

So roommates we became, heathens that we were.
All the comings and goings, with the neighbors caused quite a stir.

Lots of good times – our share of ups and downs.
I don’t think I (or Aaron) will ever forget the bloody hash browns.

You rescued me from one of the worst nights of my life – always just a phone call away.
I bailed you out of jail, having been there myself, over-night I did not want you to stay.

We had our first children together – living across the hall from each other by then.
Laughing now about how stupid we were to think “Love of a Lifetime” in those men.

So many memories…dime draws, mini skirts, Best Buns contests – skin to win.
Woody’s…the electric slide, ladies drink free…break out the mini skirts again.

Knocking Boots, Funky Cold Medina, California Centerfolds, margaritas galore.
SCUD missiles, stealing tvs, Tycoon 2 for 1’s, and so many, many more.

I cried the day you told me about the move and it looked like Texas was the choice.
I’ve been in denial ever since, fighting back more tears as you rejoice.

You’ve always been able to make me laugh and have truly become my best friend.
Your friendship means the world to me and no amount of miles can bring make that end.

I want nothing more than for you to be happy and if Texas is the way…
…Screw that…don’t go…I beg you to stay…I’ll miss you more than words can say.

Questions

2004-08-02T17:44:00.000-05:00

Who was this person who from my dreams had come to be?
Who was this person who touched a part of me?

What are these feelings that took my head and heart?
What are these feelings that now rip that apart?

Where is the hope his smile brought to my day?
Where is the hope that this time it’d be okay?

When will I ever hear his voice or feel his touch?
When will I ever be able to say I miss him oh so much?

Why must it hurt so bad to feel that he is gone?
Why must it hurt so bad for his memory to linger on?

How do I forget the way he made me feel?
How do I forget what I so wanted to be real?

Who can change this emptiness that seems to fill each night?
Who can change this wrong and make it right?

What can stop these thoughts from running through my mind?
What can stop this wondering if love & happiness I’ll ever find?

Where is the one who will complete my life?
Where is the one who will want me for his wife?

When do I get my happily ever after?
When do I get to feel the warmth of his laughter?

Why can’t we be together, sharing all we say and do?
Why can’t he come to me and say the one I want is you?

How do I stop feeling that a part of life is missing?
How do I stop wishing it was me that he is kissing?

Who can tell me what will make it right?
Where to find the answers?
When to give up the fight?
Why it has to be so hard from day to passing day?
How I’ll ever find my way?

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

“Crazy For You”

2004-08-02T17:42:00.000-05:00

Ok - disclaimer here - I wrote this during my NSYNC phase. This is written using almost all the the song titles from their first (2) cd's.

“Here We Go”, I need to tell you how I feel.
You stir up such a mix of emotions that sometimes “It Makes Me Ill”.

It’s so easy to see that “God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You”.
It’s “Tearin’ Up My Heart” wondering if you feel the same way too.

“I Just Wanna Be With You”, I would surely give “Everything I Own”.
“I Want You Back” here with me, not just a voice on the phone.

“I Drive Myself Crazy” dreaming of you, but oh what a joy.
Cuz in my “Digital Getdown” you’re my “Space Cowboy”.

“You Got It” – what it takes to make my heart sing.
I know you’d give your all, even “For The Girl Who Has Everything”.

“I’ll Be Good For You” and trust I would never say “Bye Bye Bye”.
“I Need Love” but it’s even more important to be a friend by your side.

I know it is your time to find your way and “No Strings Attached” is best.
If we just hold on, fate will do the rest.

A so-called friend says time will pull us apart and “That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You”.
“I Thought She Knew” our bond can’t be broken no matter what we say or do.

Through all your travels and though there are others you may see.
Your smile gives me faith that in the end “It’s Gonna Be Me”.

I love you and even when my soul is “Sailing” to the heavens blue.
You’ll always be in my heart, “This I Promise You”.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

I Want You Back

2004-08-02T17:39:00.000-05:00

(author unknown)

Something in me can’t ignore
How much I really miss you.
Something in me can’t forget
How once it felt to kiss you.

Something in the way we talked,
The hopes and times we shared.
Reminds me that in our own way,
We loved and, yes, we cared.

Something keeps repeating
There are good times still ahead.
Something in my heart feels
There are fond words to be said.

Something in me senses
We’ve passed through the darkest weather.
Something keeps on saying,
Why can’t we get back together.

I’ll Love You Forever

2004-08-02T17:38:00.000-05:00

Tonight you shared a part of you
That I never dreamt I’d know.
The words that you have written,
I can’t seem to let go.

It seems we’ve made a connection.
A bond that will not break.
An everlasting togetherness
That only God could ever make.

But yet at that moment,
When you were saying goodbye.
I felt so far away from you.
I just wanted to cry.

I have a tremendous need
To always be by your side.
I love you with all my heart.
These feelings I’ll never hide.

I can’t imagine my life without you
Though I’m not pressuring you to stay.
I’ll take faith in our relationship.
Our love will guide the way.

All I’m asking is that you love me.
Please be honest and true.
Then in my heart you’ll always stay.
I’ll forever love you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

What You Mean to Me

2004-08-02T17:37:00.000-05:00

When I think about the two of us,
I still can’t believe it’s real.
I think about the things you say
And how good you make me feel.

Though it’s only been a short while
It seems I’ve known you forever.
And now that I have been with you,
I know I’ll leave you never.

You came into my life
When I really needed someone to care.
You treated me very special
And made me want to share.

You’ve become such a big part of my life
That I could never let go.
You mean everything to me.
I want that for you to know.

You make me laugh,
Which for a long time I couldn’t do.
You bring out the best in me
And make me care for you.

You’ve been such a good friend to me.
You’ve brought into my life
So many things I couldn’t see.

I’m looking forward to being there
Experiencing all you say and do.
No matter what, never forget
That I love you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

And Daddy, We Love You

2004-08-02T17:36:00.000-05:00

(written following my father's death and read at his funeral)

It is hard to find the words that I want to say.
It’s going to be a sad and difficult day.

Today we say goodbye to a very special man.
And to share the love that was felt in the touch of his hand.

I can think of so many things that remind me of my dad.
I remember back to all the fun times we’ve had.

I can’t believe it happened though we’ve expected it so long.
You want to get close to him and suddenly he’s gone.

He was such a big part of many lives and each will never forget.
The loving person that he was and just how much he meant.

We can all take comfort that he is no longer in pain.
And to quote a favorite song, “our world’s loss is heaven’s gain.”

At night when I can’t sleep I miss my dad so much.
I wish I had another chance for him to feel my touch.

I know he is up there watching and with us he’ll laugh and cry.
Although I didn’t say it , he knew I loved him when I kissed him goodbye.

He is in a better place now and we should be moving on.
In our hearts he’ll always stay and he’ll never truly be gone.

And daddy, we love you.

In loving memory of Forrest Wynne Kinnison
Born March 6, 1933
Died August 10, 1987

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Remembering (on behave of the ’88 Senior Class - In memory of Gary Tilton)

2004-08-02T17:28:00.000-05:00

This one was written following the death of another classmate - Gary Tilton

Now as we are looking back
It’s the good times that we see.
And even more important,
The special person who brought those times to life.
It’s a shame now that he’s gone,
And those times are as sharp as a knife.

Remembering him and all he was
At times can be a comfort.
He was always nice to every one,
No matter who they were.
The tragedy of his accident
Leaves behind so much hurt.
But in our hearts he’ll always stay,
Of that we can be sure.

He touched our lives in so many ways
And we, his friends, will never forget.
He made the most of everyday
And brought us so much fun.
He was truly a remarkable person
And one we are fortunate to have met.

Although he’s not with us,
His memory lingers on.
And in our lives and in our minds,
He’ll always be number one.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

note: This poem ended up in the school newspaper along side an article written by the deceased's best friend. I found out a couple years after high school that one of the classmates who approached me to write this poem later submitted it as their own in a journalism contest (along with the article) and it won a prize. I was so angry when I found that out. I had never wanted to take credit for the poem, that's why "on behave of the '88 Senior Class" is in the title. I thought that to be more respective of the person's death. However, I never expected someone else to take credit for it either.

Kiss Me Softly

2004-08-02T17:27:00.001-05:00

(author unknown)

Kiss me softly, gently with care.
I to have feelings for the love we share.

Please don’t hurt me, don’t make me cry.
For if you leave me I know I will die.

I love you truly and I hope you love me.
So into your heart will you please let me.

If you do love me, show me how.
Kiss me softly, tell me now.

To My Special Love

2004-08-02T17:27:00.000-05:00

I want to tell you I love you in my very own way.
I want you to know I fall deeper for you every day.

You are very special.
You make my world go around.
I can’t imagine life without you.
You make me feel safe and sound.

It has been hard from time to time to see each other.
But I don’t worry ‘cause I know
there could never ever be another.

I dream about how our life is going to be together.
Every time I think of you,
I feel our love will last forever.

This time of year is very special
for those who are in love.
And now that I’ve found you
I thank the stars above.

I’m so very happy now
And every day brings something new.
My special love…I truly love you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Never Say Goodbye

2004-08-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

I never got the chance to say goodbye to you.
Though I know you’ll be back, until that time I’ll be blue.

I can’t begin to explain why you suddenly were gone.
I thought I’d be okay until I heard our song.

Maybe you knew I’d cry
And wanted to avoid putting off our love.
But not getting the chance,
Hurts more than saying goodbye would of.

My feelings haven’t changed,
Except I’m a little confused.
I believe you still love me
And I’m not being used.

When you get back we’ll work things out
And I’ll no longer have to cry.
I want you to know I’ll always love you
And will never say goodbye.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

I’ll Get Over the Hurt

2004-08-02T17:25:00.000-05:00

I sit here tonight in my room all alone.
I’m feeling so much hurt that no one in this world
Ever before could have known.

I get so mad and all I can do is cry.
I ask myself “if you really care, then why?”

I know deep down you do love me
And it’s hard to be together.
But I’ve fought and could have lost a lot
For our love to last forever.

You think it’s almost over
But it’s hardly just begun.
There are going to many more nights
When I’m the left out one.

Do you remember that weekend we were so happy
Making love in my bed?
We’ve hurt each other many times
And I’m sorry for all I’ve said.

You think I could have anyone else
But honey, you’re the one I need.
I want so much for that day
When our own life we can lead.

I’ve said so many times I’ll wait for you
And I really want you to believe it.
I love you with all my heart.
Our life is going to be perfect.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Our Secret Love

2004-08-02T17:24:00.000-05:00

I still don’t believe this is happening,
It just doesn’t seem real.
How could you fall for me?
I didn’t know you felt that same way I feel.

I’m really very happy now,
More than ever before.
You treat me better than anyone
And give me so much more.

I never thought there’d be anyone other than him
But I’m so glad you’re there.
I love you with all my heart
And I want you to know I care.

Things are gonna be a lot different
As soon as we both are free.
Our lives are gonna be better.
I hope you stay with me.

I think of you all the time
And wish you were always near.
I miss you so very much
When you’re there and I’m here.

We have so much fun
When we spend time together.
I pray no matter what,
Our love will last forever.

Remember I’ll always wait for you,
As long as it will take.
I could never let go of you,
There’s so much more love to make.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Untitled

2004-08-02T17:23:00.000-05:00

This one was written by a classmate - Lisa Miner

No matter what you do or how you feel.
This love I have for you will always be real.

I try to call you but you’re always gone.
Even though people say life must go on.
I don’t believe it or think it’s true.
My love will always be for you.

Sometimes I’m mad and sometimes I’m blue
But whenever I’m sad I always think of you.

You think that I’m against you, but how could that be?
Seeing you with those two really hurt me.

Especially when you act like you don’t care.
But please remember my love for you will always be there.

I Truly Love You

2004-08-02T17:22:00.001-05:00

You are very, very special
That’s easy to see.
You mean so much more
Than anyone every has to me.

It’s been such a long time
Since I first saw you as more than a friend.
I knew then I had to try,
I couldn’t let my thoughts of what could be just end.

So many things have happened since then.
We were together and apart so many times
And each time my heart had to mend.

But I never gave up.
I held on to dreams and hoped everyday.
I just wanted one more chance and that’s all.
‘Cause I wasn’t gonna let you go again, no way.

Well, now we are together once more
And we have so much to share.
You love me as much as I have loved you for so long
And really show me you care.

We are gonna have a great life together
And each day will bring us something new.
For now and forever, I can honestly say…
I truly love you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Now and Forever

2004-08-02T17:22:00.000-05:00

Now and forever seems like an eternity.
But I know we’ll make it, you’ll see.

There’s nothing in the world
that will keep us from being together.
There’s nothing stronger that our love
And that’s for now and forever.

Now and forever, is it just a state of mind
Or figure of speech?
All I know it everyday of our lives
For your hand I’ll reach.

I’ll always want you near me
And no matter what I’ll leave you never.
Through good and bad we’ll be together,
Now and forever.

Now and forever, forever in your arms.
Never hurting each other.
Not thinking about possible harms.

This is what it’s come to be
And will strengthen with all we encounter.
Everything we feel will be now and forever.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

‘Til I Found You

2004-08-02T17:21:00.000-05:00

‘Til I found you,
there were so many things I never knew.

All the fun and the laughter we share.
I never knew someone could actually really care.

There’s so much love inside of me, all for just one person.
I never thought I could feel this way for anyone.

‘Til I found you, part of me was missing.
Now I dream of all the times we’ve spent kissing.

You make me feel warm inside and when you touch me I melt.
What we have is very special, like nothing I’ve ever felt.

I know our love is going to last.
We are gonna make it better than anytime in the past.

I look at things differently now, everything seems so new.
I never knew my life could be so great, ‘til I found you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Stuffed Animals

2004-08-02T17:20:00.001-05:00

They’re all so cute and cuddly,
I always want them around.
Some can mean more to me
Than any friend I’ve found.

Whether it’s a puppy dog
Or a little bunny rabbit.
I have to have lots of them,
Some call it a bad habit.

The “Teddy Bear” is the most famous,
Though I haven’t got one yet.
My birthday is coming up,
I’ll get one then I bet.

They come in different shapes and sizes.
The big ones are my favorite.
The little ones are okay.
I’ve got places for them to sit.

The color doesn’t matter much.
I’m sure most of them are adorable.
If I ever found one I hated,
It would have to be really horrible.

I wish that I could show you
All the fuzzy friends I’ve got.
But I think I’d rather wait
‘til I get a lot more bought.

My stuffed animals are like a secret family to me.
Although other may like them,
There’s something about them they don’t see.

Well, maybe I’ve told you enough
About one of my great interests.
Guess you can tell by now,
Collecting stuffed animals is something I do best.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Second Time Around

2004-08-02T17:20:00.000-05:00

I know it’s hardly the second time we’ve been together.
But it’s only the second time I feel the love we’ll have forever.

I can never tell you
How much it means to me to have another chance.
And I’ll do my best,
In every way, to fill it with romance.

If I’ve told you once, I swear,
I’ve told you a million times.
Home much I really love you
And now once again in this rhyme.

I’m really very happy to be with you now,
Though it’s not a new love we’ve found.
It’s true love is so much sweeter
The second time around.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

I’m Missing You

2004-08-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

I’m missing you, that’s needless to say.
It’s true, I think of you everyday.

I miss every little thing that makes you what you are.
Especially your eyes that shine brightly like a star.

I miss having you near me and always knowing you’re there.
I know I’ll always remember just how much you care.

I miss the way we talked and now it breaks my heart.
It’s so hard to adjust now that we are far apart.

I’m missing you.
There was never a moment spent that was dull.
Please believe I’ll never stop loving you
and you’ll always be very special.

(written for a friend, Stacy Miller)

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Bound by Love

2004-08-02T17:18:00.000-05:00

I remember how it started,
We liked each other for a while.
When you asked me I was shocked
But still it made me smile.

Whenever we fight, you say it’s ‘cause of you.
But to argue it takes two.

Don’t worry ‘cause couples do fight.
With every good thing comes problems,
That’s what makes it right.

When you come over, the little water fights
Are only part of the fun we share.
I know we’ll have many more good times.
And I also know you really care.

Sometimes you ask how long we’ll last
And you hope it’s forever.
I don’t know what the future holds.
But I hope we spend each day together.

You are so sweet and kind to me.
You know what that makes me think of?
The only way to describe us,
Is that we’re bound by love.

(written for a friend, Chari Davis)

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Together Forever

2004-08-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

I didn’t think I could be this happy again.
I thought I’d lost you for good and it was really the end.

I never want to lose what I share with you.
It’s all so very special, the love comes shining through.

I look inside your eyes and see
The one who’s meant so much to me.

The times we’ve spent, the love we’ve shown.
The way we’ve felt and how much we’ve grown.

I wish I could always tell you just how I feel.
But when the words come I just stop.
I’m afraid you won’t think they are real.

I love you so much more than you will ever know.
And I think I know how you feel,
Although you don’t always let it show.

I hope we last a lifetime
And will always be together.

I want more than anything
For our love to last forever.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Realize

2004-08-02T17:16:00.000-05:00

Why can’t I just get over you?
It hard but you always hurt me.

I remember how things used to be.
And what can be becomes my fantasy.

It’s stupid, I know, to keep going back.
But I can’t stop the way I feel.

It’s wrong to keep coming back for more
When your love’s not real.

I always told you “I loved you so much”.
Then I realized that was in the past tense.

Why did I keep hanging on?
It really doesn’t make much sense.

I’ve had a long time to get over you.
To tell the truth, I haven’t gotten that far yet.

But I’ve got too many hopes and dreams to fulfill
To be you’re reliable pet.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

The Way I Am

2004-08-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I hate myself,
Friends and family too.

I just give up and don’t want to try
To make my dreams come true.

Just when life is looking good
And things are going right.

Then it all starts to crumble again
And I can’t even stand up and fight.

I never want to get so down again
And try to hide.

‘Cause the last time I was really depressed,
I attempted suicide.

I want to talk to someone
But it’s all been said before.

I only get this way now and then.
I feel I can’t take anymore.

But what can be done
For someone like me?

Well, no one has the answers
For something they can’t see.

I can’t always explain how I feel
And what I say.

I can’t even explain my different
Moods from day to day.

I guess since I’ll always be this way
And will hardly ever change.

I’ll learn to like myself
And try to rearrange.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

My Best Memory

2004-08-02T17:14:00.001-05:00

I’ll never forget that day,
We all sat waiting to hear our name.
Lots of people were really scared
And I was feeling the same.

Finally she started,
Going from first to last.
As I sat there,
I thought of all the time spent practicing in the past.

I listened as many names were called
And watched the tears come down.
I was happy for each one of them
But I couldn’t help but start to frown.

So many things were running through my head
As she neared the end.
Then suddenly I burst into tears,
‘Cause the next name called was that of my best friend.

I looked up at her
As everyone gave hugs to show they cared.
The look on her face told me
That with only 3 names left, she too was very scared.

I put my head in my hands
And it seemed so long as she called the next two.
I looked around the room,
For I had already told myself “the last one won’t be you”.

It was deafly quiet
And I heard my name at last.
As I ran to hug my friend,
The tears came down so fast.

I walked up to the table
And looked back again at her.
Then I got pinned on my shirt
A ribbon that said,

“Prairie Cheerleader”.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

When I See You

2004-08-02T17:14:00.000-05:00

When I see you, my heart just drops.
I know you like another,
So that’s where our friendship stops.

I haven’t told many people how I really feel.
I wish I could tell you
But you’d probably think it’s no big deal.

Even though I haven’t liked you very long,
It hurts to see her and you.

Maybe I should give up.
I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to let go
But maybe it’s for the best.

I really like you.
I don’t know if I can let it rest.

Well, I guess I need some time
To think everything through.

I know you guys make a good couple.
I should be happy for you.

I probably can’t change things.
This is the way they should be.

I just wish instead of her you were kissing,
It was me.

Maybe I’ll get over you.
At least we’ll be friends.
It’s probably best that I let
Whatever feelings I have for you end.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Hello

2004-08-02T17:13:00.000-05:00

“Hello” is the word I say.
But it feels like you’re pushing me away.

I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring
And there’s a lot that I demand.

I wish you’d tell me what is wrong.
I’ll try to understand.

I thought we were getting close again.
As you probably know,
I want to be more than a friend.

I started to change so we could try.
But now you’re acting different
And I don’t know why.

Maybe I am asking too much of you.
And maybe wishing wasn’t the right thing to do.

But now it seems hope is all I’ve got.
I guess if I lose you,
That’s a valuable lesson taught.

If it’s time you need,
You’ve got all you want.

And if you find you care for me,
I will not flaunt.

If you decide you want to be alone,
I’ll try not to cry.

But I’ll keep on saying “hello” to you.
‘Cause I never want to say “good-bye”.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Dear Diary . . .

2004-08-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

Haven’t written in a while,
Probably because I’ve been looking…

Looking for that one special guy.
Someone that will make me smile.

Got some good news and some bad news.
He was right here all the time.

But he doesn’t feel the same.
Am I playing a losing game?

Maybe at one time he did care.
But I know the once loving feelings,
Never again we will share.

I really wish I could talk to him.
And prove that to try wouldn’t be a foolish whim.

I knew all along that I would never forget.
Even though someone broke us up.

I can’t help but think
It could be much better yet.

I guess I’ll go now.
I’ll write again someday.

Hopefully things will be different.
I just want his love to stay.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Tell Me

2004-08-02T17:11:00.000-05:00

I want to know how you feel.
Tell me is our love real?

We are separated by the miles.
I have to hear from you to remember all the smiles.

All my love is there.
But please tell me you care.

I don’t want to have to say good-bye.
Tell me the truth and I’ll try not to cry.

You know my feelings for you.
Just tell me you love me too.

If you need some time, that’s okay.
Just tell me and I’ll wait everyday.

My love is strong enough to hold on.
Hold on ‘til you tell me,
‘cause I’ve loved you for so long.

(written for a friend, Angie Hickey)

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Far Away Friend

2004-08-02T17:10:00.000-05:00

I wish you were here now,
So we could really talk.

It seems so long since you’ve been gone,
Time goes slowly by on a ticking clock.

Even though we’re separated by the miles.
That doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget the fun and all the smiles.

In the short time I’ve known you,
My life has really changed.

Whenever it would crumble,
You’d help me rearrange.

What I’m trying to say is thanks,
For all that you have done.

You always were a good friend
And indeed a special one.

I guess I should end this
Before the tears show through.

I’ll always love ya like a sis,
And remember I miss you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Be Yourself

2004-08-02T17:09:00.001-05:00

“Be yourself”, I hear it all the time no matter where I go.
But yet I’m afraid and don’t always let that side show.

I mean maybe I want to wear a red shirt and purple jeans.
And die my hair a different shade, the color of string beans.

Some may say it is fine and go ahead and do it.
But I know that people would talk,
And wouldn’t like it the slightest bit.

Most people think I’m quiet most of the time
But crazy when I feel that way.
Those statements are true, although,
I feel different most every day.

I can be totally outrageous if I want to.
And others do it with no shame.
So when they say “be yourself”,
I tell them the same.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Never Forget

2004-08-02T17:09:00.000-05:00

I remember the night we first met.
To tell the truth, I can’t forget it.

I wanted to get to know you better,
If only for a bit.

I can’t believe the affect you’ve had on me.
The time since I’ve seen you seems so long.

But I think of us sitting there together
And in my mind that night lingers on.

I might not ever see you again
And I hate to think that I won’t.

I really want to be with you,
So I’ll leave you with this note.

I know we are miles apart
And a chance of me and you seems so far away

But maybe if we keep dreaming,
It will happen someday.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

The Truth

2004-08-02T17:08:00.000-05:00

(author unknown)

I want to know the truth
Of exactly how you feel.

Is this just a game for you
Or is our love real?

I wish that I could tell you
That I think our love is right.

But I don’t dare because I fear
You’re with someone else tonight.

Who knows?
Maybe it’s just my imagination running wild.

But please be honest and sincere with me,
Don’t treat me like a child.

If you can say you really care
And look me in the eye.

Then I will always care for you.
Otherwise, good-bye.

Mom and Dad

2004-08-02T17:07:00.000-05:00

You’ve always been there.
Right by our side through it all.
You’ve shown us how to care.
You caught us whenever we’d fall.

You’ve believed in us and what we can do.
You’re love and trust has always carried on.
Everything you did to or for us,
Has been to show us the childish things must be gone.

The two of you hold all us together.
You teach us the way things are the best you can.
I most of all should know, we take you for granted.
No matter what, you try and understand.

Things do go wrong in your life
And you wonder if tomorrow will bring something new.
Just always remember, we all very much love you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Sad Songs Say So Much

2004-08-02T17:06:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I was “Lost In Love”
But now I’ve got “Sad Eyes”.
I thought I was “Never Gonna Let You Go”
But now I might have to say good-bye.

There might have been a “Careless Whisper”
Somewhere in our fight.
I do know it’s “Hard For Me to Say I’m Sorry”
And I want things to be “Alright”.

If you think we should end it, “I Can’t Hold You Back”
And you’re “All I Need”.
But now we’re “Making Love Out of Nothing at All”,
Where is that going to lead?

“Tonight, I Celebrate” ‘cause we’ve been together so long.
I want to be “Every Woman in the World” to you from now on.

When we started going together there were “Two Less Lonely People in the World”
And you’re a “Hard Habit to Break”.
“Babe, I Love You” so take me in your “Open Arms” and “Don’t Let it End”,
We’ve got too much at stake.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

I Wonder…

2004-08-02T17:05:00.001-05:00

I often wonder about many things.
Like the birds and how they sing.

I wonder about the stars and how they shine.
All the time spent gazing, all those dreams of mine.

I wonder about people, how they think and how they feel.
So many things happen, sometimes I wonder if our world is real.

I wonder ‘bout lost loves, how their memory lingers on.
I wonder why I feel the same after it has been so long.

I wonder about my friends from day to passing day.
Just when you think you know them, they seem so far away.

I wonder what this is or what that may be.
But what I really wonder is, if with all people’s judgements,
Is it safe to just be me?

The question I find myself asking is “why?”.
Then wonder if it’s okay to go ahead and cry.

I wonder about lots of things in this world we live in.
Even though lots of people put me down,
I know wonder is no sin.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Good-bye

2004-08-02T17:05:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what to say now,
Or if there is something I can say.
Everything was great before.
But the way things are now,
It could end any day.

We have had so many fights,
It seems it’s all that we do.
I know I may give you reason to be mad.
But I don’t think it’s every time, do you?

Just one question if you don’t mind,
Where did we go wrong?
When I think of the good times,
I wish they could go on and on.

If you think we should let go,
Then tell me, I’ll understand.
I won’t hang on to you,
I’ll let you find someone else to hold your hand.

Like I said I can’t really talk to you anymore
And there are tears in my eye.
You deserve better but I don’t want to say good-bye.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Teenage Years

2004-08-02T17:04:00.000-05:00

Your teenage years are the best.
You’re always on the go
And your parents tell you to take a rest.

They feel the know all that’s good for you.
But your teenage years are a big step
To discovering something new.

Your world is big and bright
Although you’re down from day to day.
A special someone can help that
Like they say, “love will find a way”.

In these years you really need your friends and family too.
But they must realize you need your independence.
It’s something you must do.

A good part of your life is filled with fun and tears.
Never forget all that’s happened,
For these are your teenage years.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Are You There?

2004-08-02T17:03:00.000-05:00

It has been a long time since I’ve seen you.
You were more to me than even a good friend.
We had lots of fun, even though I was little.
After the accident, I knew in my heart it was the end.

I was only nine then and didn’t want to cry.
But now I’ve got to tell you, at least I have to try.

Then I found it easy to blame God for what was done.
Now I know he needed a friend, and chose you to be that one.

I wish that you here with me ‘cause I really do miss you.
I’ll always remember you and what you’d be.
On May 15th it’s hard to get through my day.
I just know you’re happy and hope your thinking of me.

I guess its true life is short no matter how long you live.
There is just one more thing I’d to say.
You were very special and always will be.
Even though you were my cousin, I loved you in every way.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Think of Lori

2004-08-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

This was written following the death of a classmate - Lori Stallmann

For so many of us it doesn’t seem real.
We choke up when we try to say how we feel.

She was shy but outspoken in her own way.
Now that she’s gone, we’ll miss her every day.

She was a true friend to those who really cared.
She seemed to always have fun and her happiness she shared.

We’ll remember the way she was…smart, understanding, and kind.
To many people another friend like her will be hard to find.

She was taken away so young but we know it was a tragic accident.
And to her family sympathetic wishes are sent.

We’ll have to let go but for some it will be hard
‘Cause her memory lingers on.
Her spirit will always be with us
‘Cause she was a good friend for so long.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

To Chris (Is it too late?)

2004-08-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

I can’t think of much to say,
That hasn’t been said before.
You probably understand,
But I’d like to say it once more.

I’ve waited for so long
For this certain dream to come true.
I wanted with all my heart
To be special to you.

Since we go to different schools,
It’s hard from day to day.
There are a lot of girls you could have,
It’s needless to say.

So many things have happened
In that very short time.
It seemed to every one else
My jealousy was a crime.

I just want you to know,
I really like you a lot.
Maybe we’ll all be friends again,
‘cause it was dumb to have fought.

I’m sorry for the problems I caused,
And the other stuff too.
I just want to talk things over
And get back with you.

I guess I should go now.
I’ve carried this on so long.
Just one more thing,
I don’t want to give up and move on.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Thinking…

2004-08-02T17:00:00.001-05:00

As I lie here in my room tonight, I’m thinking of many things.
I’m thinking about us and the new love we’ve now got.
I can’t believe it’s happening.
But I do know, you’re the special one I’ve sought.

Maybe I shouldn’t say this but I will anyway.
Sometimes I think of other guys I’ve given my heart and soul to.
But I know you’re very different,
‘cause all they think about is someway to use you.

Even though our lives are different, I love you in every way.
I know we can get through anything, I just need you to stay.

I find myself now drifting off to sleep.
I’ll wander to the world of miracles, a place they call dreamland.
I’ll put off ‘til tomorrow the troubles I may have.
And in my dreams, you’ll be with me, right there holding my hand.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

It’s Over…

2004-08-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

I’m so sorry I called you,
It brought out feelings I never wanted to see again.
I was sure I was finally getting over you.
I thought my broken heart was really starting to mend.

You just have to understand,
I have a new love and we can never be.
Even though I still think of you,
I love him and he loves me.

Can’t you see I’m happy the way I am
And the way things are now?
There is no way I can give up what I’ve got.
If so, I don’t see how.

I’ll never forget what we had
And the times we spent together.
I really need to let you go and move on.
Our love is gone forever.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Love is…

2004-08-02T16:59:00.000-05:00

This one was written by a friend - Jenni Wisehart

Love is a tear waiting to be shed.
It’s a feeling in your heart and head.

Love is a feeling two people share.
It’s knowing the other is willing to care.

Love is walking hand and hand.
It’s running bare foot in the sand.

Love is two people deep in the night.
It’s knowing you’ll never fight.

Love is the touch of his lips.
It’s the feeling that makes your heart flip.

Love is knowing you’ll never part.
It’s the feeling down deep in your heart.

The Good Ole Days!

2004-08-02T16:58:00.000-05:00

This one is another written by the same classmate - Darcy Turecek

It seems that there isn’t time anymore
For just you and me.
We went together for so long,
I thought I’d never be free.

We danced until the midnight hour
And wished it would never end.
But then when it came time to leave,
I thought my heart would never mend.

You and I were very close,
As close as two can be.
But now as I am looking back,
Your love I really see.

Now that we have broken up
And gone our separate ways.
I think back to those special times,
And miss the good ole days.

Gone Forever

2004-08-02T16:57:00.000-05:00

He’s been gone for almost a year,
Now he’ll be gone forever.

I wish it was the way it was before.
How we’d walk hand-in-hand
And have a real long talk.

It will never ever be the same again.
I live so far away.

I loved you so much
Until it had to end.
It lasted 5 months
And I wish it wouldn’t of had to end.

All the times we spent together.
I will never forget how we walked along the river
And stood staring at the sky.

I’ll never forget the way you kissed me.
I really miss you but now you are free.

(written for a friend, Stacy Miller)

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Friend!

2004-08-02T16:56:00.000-05:00

You are a true friend.
If I was upset,
To my needs you would tend.

There were many times when I needed to talk.
No matter what you would,
So we’d go for a walk.

You’ve helped me through troubled times.
If I did anything wrong,
You didn’t care about my crimes.

You’ve done so many things to show you understand.
You cared more than anyone,
And always lent a helping hand.

To show how much I love you,
In a sisterly way.
From now on if you need me,
Just ask any day.

Maybe this way I can repay you.
‘Cause you’ve always been there
When I need someone to listen and help too.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Hidden!

2004-08-02T16:55:00.001-05:00

Hidden behind an open book,
Is what you can’t see with just one look.

Hidden is the pain stricken face.
Reality slips at a speeding pace.

Hidden are the tears that fall.
A worn tissue takes care of it all.

Hidden are the troubles of the day.
As night passes, I feel it just doesn’t pay.

Hidden is my love for you,
‘cause you can’t say you love me too.

Hidden is the way I feel,
For I don’t know what is real.

Hidden are the words I want to say,
‘cause I’m afraid they’ll turn you away.

Hidden in my drawer is a sharpen knife,
But that can’t be my escape from life.

Hidden is all you can’t find,
‘cause you think it’s only in my mind.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Moods!

2004-08-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

Our moods change every now and then.
Sometimes what you need is a real good friend.

Most of the time we’re happy,
The world is big and bright.
All of a sudden your mood changes,
Your future is just a dim light.

Sometimes something is said
to make your feelings soar.
But maybe in a couple hours,
You’ll be locking your bedroom door.

No one really knows why this is
Or what really goes on.
But one thing I know for sure,
Good moods don’t last very long.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

To You…

2004-08-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

I tried so many times to write this in a letter.
But I had to do what I do best to tell you even better.

I don’t want you to think our love was something I wanted to flaunt.
It’s all so confusing, I don’t know what I really want.

I wanted someone special,
and that’s what I thought you be.
But it’s been so long since I have been,
I just want to be free.

I want us to just let go.
I can’t keep my feelings locked up inside,
I have to let them grow.

I’m sorry if this hurts you,
That’s something I can’t change.
I have to put my life in order,
I’ve got to rearrange.

I know there’s something that I need.
Maybe someday when I’ve had time to think,
We’ll try this once again,
After I’ve found that missing link.

Please promise me we’ll stay friends
And you’ll try to understand.
I just need to be alone for awhile,
With no one to hold my hand.

Hopefully in no time at all,
my life will be as good as new.
What we had will always be,
I’ll never forget you.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Life & Childhood

2004-08-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

We’ve all made mistakes one time or another.
We just want to hide in the arms of our mother.

I have made so many mistakes in such a short time.
It would be easier if life was like a nursery rhyme.

So many things have happened and so many people were hurt.
Why did I act like a child and push people in the dirt?

I wish I could erase the last year.
I just sit in the dark and like a baby,
I shed a tear.

I’ll just have to try to cope with all of this.
I still need my dad’s encouraging kiss.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Why?

2004-08-02T16:47:00.001-05:00

Why is our relationship this way?
It seems like it gets worse everyday.

Why do you say things that make me hurt?
I really don’t fool around and flirt.

Why do you act like this?
It is the trust I really miss.

I know you really love me.
But jealousy is no way to show it.
Why can’t you see?

Why can’t you act like all our friends?
They spend time together and it never ends.

Please listen to what I’ve said.
Don’t forget about it and put in the back of your head.

I really want to make it last.
Don’t let it end so fast.

(written for a friend, Stacy Miller)

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

You, Me…Us!

2004-08-02T16:47:00.000-05:00

It is hard to explain how I feel about you.
I’m not sure if my dream will come true.

We were together before and had fun that night.
But it ended in less than a week.
While I cried there was nothing in sight.

So many people like you, it’s hard to adjust.
There is lots of love we could share,
but there has to be trust.

I don’t want to be hurt by you anymore.
If you don’t feel the same, let me walk out the door.

Don’t show what seems to be love,
Then push me away.
I really want to make things work,
I really want to stay.

I know in my heart what I feel for your is right.
But we both have to show how much we care
All through the day and night.

Please consider what I’ve said and don’t make any mistakes.
I’ve loved you too long for just another heart ache.

I hope you realize what could be,
And the fun times we’d have together.
And also, no matter what,
I’ll love you forever.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

Love…

2004-08-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

Love is sweet no matter where you are.
But maybe it’s the sweetest when you’re both gazing at a star.

Love may mean nothing to someone.
But it makes others happy and there’s nothing that can be done.

Loves that last a long time are very special to you.
But there is another love just as heavenly,
one that is brand new.

They say love is where the heart is,
and there are kind hearts all around.
When you find that special someone,
time spent with them with them will tell you what you’ve found.

By: Lori Kinnison Fortmann

His Eyes…

2004-08-02T16:45:00.001-05:00

His eyes are really pretty.
They sparkle and seen to smile.
They make me feel warm inside.
To see his eyes I’d walk a mile.

His eyes are beautiful brown.
They seem to tell a story, not like other guys’.
You just know how he feels.
It makes me so happy to look into his bedroom eyes.

His eyes are what I remember most.
Although we are apart now, the memory lingers on.
When I think of him, all the fun is there.
But his eyes make me cry, just like our favorite song.

April Fool

2004-08-02T16:45:00.000-05:00

This one was actually written by a classmate - Darcy Turecek

Today is April Fool’s Day,
And I think it meant for me.
‘Cause I was very foolish,
as anyone can see.

I guess I’d say I blew my chance to ever be with you.
And no matter how I try, there’s nothing I can do.

I thought that maybe we’d be the way that we once were.
But I decided to forget it when I heard of you and her.

You do everything together now,
I doubt you’ll ever part.
Sometimes I think you’ll flaunt it,
‘cause you know it breaks my heart.

I love you more than you’ll know,
And you’re the one I’m missing.
I wish instead of her,
It was me that you were kissing.

I guess it’s really over,
And I should be moving on.
For whatever we once had,
It now forever gone.

It’s funny though I’d take you back,
Even though you’ve been so cruel.
I guess it all comes down to one thing,
I’m just your April Fool.

Once Again…

2004-08-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

Well it happened once again.
We were together then it had to end.

You know how I feel about you.
I’ll always feel this way, you know that’s true.

I think for now I’ll just be your friend.
And once again my broken heart will mend.

Maybe one day you’ll want me back.
And once again our love will be on the right track.

Someday you’ll come knocking on my door.
And again I’ll be your fool once more.

Remember…

2004-08-02T16:43:00.000-05:00

I’ve liked you for a long time.
I want you to remember this when things go wrong.
Over the months and days, I’ve grown to love you.
I’ll do anything to make what we have strong.

Whenever it seems like I’m hanging on to him,
Just remember you’re the one I love and want.
All you have to do is talk to me.
I don’t want any memories to haunt.

Sure hope this will help you see,
I want you to remember this and understand.
No matter whatever happens,
I’ll always want you to be there, so I can hold your hand.

I don’t want you to have to change,
Just remember I love you as you are.
My wishes will come true now,
‘cause your wishing on that same star.

This may be a lot to ask,
Just remember I’m always here.
I hope you love me in the same way,
And you’ll be there to wipe it dry whenever I shed a tear.

If you remember I love you,
I’ll remember you love me.
Together we’ll live this life,
Our happiness the whole world will see.

Is This It?

2004-08-02T16:41:00.000-05:00

Is this it? The last time?
Will it ever be the same?
Is all the fun over?
After all that’s happened, can I hide the shame?

You never told me how you felt.
Now will I ever know?
Are all the kisses gone?
Just tell me the truth, then I’ll go.

But first I have to say once again,
how much I care for you and always will.
You meant everything to me.
Just remember the love is there still.

Are you going to find someone new?
Do I have to settle for being your friend?
What happened to all the good times?
Is this really the end?

Is this my last chance to really talk to you?
I’ll never forget the things we had to share.
Despite all these questions, I do know one thing.
Deep down in your heart you did care.

I Remember…

2004-08-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

I remember that night on the phone.
You were at a friend’s and I was at home.

You’re friend asked me if I’d go with you.
It wasn’t the first time and we’d start off new.

I first found out if you want to know.
Then I said yes, my spirits were no longer low.

Four months had past
and finally at last.

It was out first kiss.
I sight you wouldn’t want to miss.

The next six months were very fun.
Movies, ballgames, and they were done.

We’d sit on my patio in the romantic moonlight.
And gaze at the starts that filled the night.

When you’d kiss me I’d just melt.
Warmness inside was all I felt.

I loved you so much, the feeling so grand.
When you put your arms around me, how you held my hand.

These things are all behind.
But I’ll remember them ‘cause everything’s a sign.

To the times we shared together.
And the love I’ll have for you forever.